Apple's Greens

When I picked Walt up from pre-school yesterday, he was very excited to show me the two new Curious George books he had in his cubby.  "Where did you get these kiddo? "  He explained that the teacher took us to "Apple's Greens" to look at books and he picked out the George books.  "It's not like the library Daddy.  I can keep these for ever and ever and ever."
This made my day or perhaps even my week or month.  I'm not sure if this is nature or nurture but I do feel satisfied that Walt has his priorities in place.

Actually, It Is Brain Surgery

I am now scheduled to have surgery in one week.  Is it possible for such a thing to be a pleasant surprise?  I have been living for almost two years under the impression that I would never be a candidate for further surgery because of the diffuse nature of my cancer.  So I am truly glad that this is not the case but after purging even the possibility of more surgery from my consciousness for so long, I'm once again trying to adjust to a new reality. 

Longest Day

Looking north from the roof

Happy summer solstice or winter solstice for friends in the Southern Hemisphere.  We're basking in clear San Francisco skies (a bit unusual for the season) for the longest day of sunlight for the year.  I'm afraid the day does feel acutely long since I've been up before first light and I doubt I will close my eyes until well after night has fallen.  I am feeling quite preoccupied.  Tomorrow morning we will meet with the surgeon and discuss the most prudent and promising ways to slice portions out of my brain for removal.  I'm not sure if I'm going to get just a detailing (biopsy) or a major remodel (debulking) but either way, we're both anxious and looking forward to meeting with the surgeon tomorrow so that we can finally have some of these questions answered.

One Step

 It has been a very compressed couple of days.  Time slowed down a bit as I waited to hear the conclusions of the tumor board and get the call from my doctor.  Yet I have to say, it was very different from Wednesday.  The shock was gone and I just wanted some information that would help me focus on the next step - what can we do next and when will we do it?

Change is good, right?

Walt's backseat perspective heading home

Today was the day for my three month MRI and visit with my doctor.  It's not good news.  There is new growth and my tumor has changed.  This is what brain tumors do - they don't stay stagnant for very long.  The grow, change, evolve, mutate.  It is hard to know what exactly has happened but we will be facing some hard decisions soon.

Feeling Funny

I have to quote the late 70's genius of Steve Martin again (and it probably won't be the last time.)

"You know, a lot of people come to me and they say Steve, how can you be so f*****' funny?  There's a secret to it, it's no big deal, I'll be honest with you - before I come out, I put a slice of baloney in each one of my shoes.   So, when I'm on stage, I feel funny."

This is where I've been for a few weeks now - feeling funny - but laughs are hard to come-by.