14 Days Done

Home sweet home for the next sixteen days

I've almost reached the halfway point in my radiation treatment.  I am happy to report the second and third weeks have gone significantly better than the first.  There are side effects - I look like a Bavarian Bürger who cooked a bit too long on Mallorcan beaches and my hair has indeed started to fall out in disquieting clumps - but overall, I'm doing well.
While I was at my brain tumor support group last night, there were a few comments about my hair weathering the treatments well.  Then, as if on cue, while I was chatting with a friend afterwards, I ran a hand over my head and came away with a clump of hair.  I was surprised how taken aback I was.  When you hear you may lose your hair (some patients do while others do not), it seems like the least of your problems.  It is understandably more difficult for many women but I just figured I would shave my head if it started and that would be that.  Still, when I was holding a small clump a hair in my hand, it felt like it is what Episcopalians would call,"An outward and visible sign of an internal and physical (spiritual) state (grace)."  It is an odd thing about having brain cancer is that many of us just don't look sick so that we and others can push this thought into a far corner our consciousness.  It is hard to ignore a sizeable clump of your own hair in your hands - hmmm, something just isn't right about this.  I think I can hold out for a week so that Walt can wield the clippers on me.

The duck indifferently surveys the rack

I've been walking the six-mile round trip up to the Parnassus campus of UCSF to get my treatments.  When all is said and done, it is about a three hour process.  I've found that the walk has helped settle me down before and after treatment not to mention discovering the seemingly infinite variation of routes across Golden Gate Park.  The Outer Richmond summer is in full bloom and so it has been a contemplative and foggy trip each day.

I'm glad the zombies have already passed through - I understand that they do enjoy brains and I'm afraid that I have none to spare

My spirits are generally good and I am honestly optimistic that the treatment will be successful.  But this optimism has to be tempered by a deep well of patience.  One side effect that has not arrived yet is sleepiness.  I am quite tired but I can only manage a few hours of sleep in a row.  I feel physically and mentally stirred up (I guess this is the "heat" or yin in the view of Traditional Chinese Medicine) and it can a challenge to quiet all of the noise.