Pool/Drop

The Crying of Lot 107081

I'm four days clear of my last radiation treatment and I'm feeling great both physically and mentally.  I wasn't quite sure how it was going to be emerging from the basement at UCSF after radiation session number thirty but I felt instantly revived and awakened.  I left with my mask as a party favor in a grocery bag and it felt like a feather rather than a prison as I carried it home with me.  A friend had suggested to me before I began that most patients either want to transform their mask into a piece of art or back over it with their car.  I initially identified with the latter group but now that's not the case.  I don't want to destroy and I don't want to transform it.  It stands for itself.
I figure with the initial fitting, the treatments and scans, and the occasional delays, I probably spent in the neighborhood of fourteen hours locked into this thing.  When I look at it now I think of perseverance rather than misery, patience rather than suffering, and hope rather than fear.

14 Days Done

Home sweet home for the next sixteen days

I've almost reached the halfway point in my radiation treatment.  I am happy to report the second and third weeks have gone significantly better than the first.  There are side effects - I look like a Bavarian Bürger who cooked a bit too long on Mallorcan beaches and my hair has indeed started to fall out in disquieting clumps - but overall, I'm doing well.

Dropping In

Walt has a serious meta streak - taking a photo of a photo - scouting the right run of Lava Falls at 30,000 CFS - the cheese grater is barely visible on the right - with Wolfe and Timmons (I'm in the comfortable catcher's crouch third from the left) circa 1996.  Had a great run (thanks Mike) and a good time was had by all.  Another boat on the far left is being smart and running left.  Where is the fun in that?  In case this one slipped by you, just click on the image to make it much more visible.

I'm feeling a bit antsy and over adrenalized these past few days.  My emotions are running all over the map.  I apologize for the spotty responses that I have sent out to all of the well wishes and kind messages I've received.  Focus remains at a premium and when I've felt it, I've tried to spend it on Walt and Steph and calming my own unsettled mind.

Im Westen nichts Neues

Dr. Walter is also adapting to the new UCSF data entry system

This post may be a bit scattered as I feel unable to marshal much focus to write.  I'm feeling drained.  After feeling strong for the two weeks since surgery, I came crashing down yesterday with a splitting headache and nausea that kept me horizontal until six in the evening. This is pretty normal post-surgery but it is still unpleasant and disheartening since I felt like I was clear of these symptoms.  I'm feeling better today but still fighting some queasiness.

Changes

It's been a rather full two weeks - I had brain surgery, spent two days in the hospital, came home with twenty-three staples in my head, and got a new diagnosis.