Happy Anniversary

It is hard to believe that it has been a year since we snapped this picture in front of our house in Canberra before we hopped in a rented car (our hastily packed nine suitcases somehow crammed in there) and headed for Sydney and home.  Looking back, I now realize what a complete altered state I was living in for the next six weeks.  Brain cancer, brain surgery, chemotherapy - the kind of words that make you do a double take - is this real?  Did I hear that correctly?  I was fortunate enough to have never had a serious illness in my life and so nothing compelled me to think about it too much.

Settling In

We've been back around three weeks now and we are just beginning to feel adjusted.  The last three weeks have been such a rollercoaster, for both emotions and expectations, that we are still feeling a bit out on our feet.  Well, two of us do anyhow - Walt has never looked happier to be reunited with his toys, piles of sports equipment, books, and "his" backyard.  I wouldn't say that he was miserable in the City but I know that he sensed the uncertainty and temporary status there.  Being back together with his "stuff" has seemed to reassure him above all else that life is back to normal.  I wish it were so simple for adults.

Is February really the shortest month?

...because it has felt interminable.
To begin, I'm still feeling healthy.  It has been close to three months that I've been free from acute symptoms.  We started the month thinking that if the next scan showed improvement or even stable disease, we could head back to Australia, get back to my job, and regain a semblance of normal life.  After several weeks of back and forth with the State Department, it now appears that I won't be medically cleared to return overseas and I don't have much input on this.  In some ways, these last two weeks have been harder to take than my original diagnosis.  I suppose I didn't realize the extent to which I had equated returning to my job in Australia with having turned the corner with my cancer - somehow that was the milestone in my mind that would turn our upside down life right again.

A good laugh and a long sleep

There is an Irish proverb that says,"A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the doctor's bag."  I have been laughing plenty but sleep has been hard to come by.  One of the most effective medications at helping to reduce brain swelling is the steroid decadron.  It seems that all brain cancer survivors spend some amount of time on decadron.  Unfortunately, decadron comes with a litany of unpleasant side effects - anxiety, irritability, elevated blood pressure, weight gain, and worst of all in my case, insomnia.

Diagnosis

Pre-surgery haircut - I only needed a small patch shaved

The day after my MRI, I saw a GP in Canberra who sent me to see a neurologist. While ruling out a diagnosis strictly from a scan, it appeared that my "migraines" were being caused by a brain tumor.

After talking with the doctor, we decided to return to the U.S., specifically to the University of California, San Francisco Medical Center (UCSF), for further evaluation and treatment.

The next few days were a bit of a blur. Colleagues at the Embassy could not have been more helpful and supportive and by some minor miracle, thirty-six hours later, we were boarding our San Francisco bound flight in Sydney having spent about an hour packing our bags.