Change is good, right?

Walt's backseat perspective heading home

Today was the day for my three month MRI and visit with my doctor.  It's not good news.  There is new growth and my tumor has changed.  This is what brain tumors do - they don't stay stagnant for very long.  The grow, change, evolve, mutate.  It is hard to know what exactly has happened but we will be facing some hard decisions soon.

Summit Leads To Эпоха застоя

It was Always Sunny In Philadelphia until the last day of the conference and the 5K which is why Steph appears to be frozen in this shot.

We spent last weekend at the National Brain Tumor Society Summit in Philadelphia.  It is the annual meeting of the NBTS - part scientific conference part networking opportunity for patients (or "survivors" in their lingo) and caregivers.  We did learn a few things and connected with some very nice people but I left feeling dissatisfied - my perspective hasn't improved significantly but it hasn't gotten worse either.  Stagnation.
I'm not sure what I expected, certainly not a miracle cure that had somehow eluded me before, but I wanted something - some kernel of hope, some promising procedure that I hadn't come across yet - and unfortunately, that simply doesn't appear to be out there.

Qualified Good News

Is there any other kind when dealing with health (or doctor's pronouncements)?
I had my four-month MRI yesterday and saw my oncologist.  I can say for the record that what began as an hour of torture in the Sci-Fi machine has become old hat.  I found myself drifting off, looking at my reflection in the control room window via a mirror attached to my "Hannibal Lecter goes out for the day" mask, wondering if GE was consciously channeling 2001: A Space Odyssey when they designed this MRI machine.  I used to find the hour of lying immobile in a small, noisy (imagine R2D2 getting slowly crushed in the Death Star's trash compactor) metal cylinder was an unpleasant experience that required visualizations (trying to recall the run in Hance in every detail) to endure but honestly, it doesn't seem like a very big deal anymore.  

Treatment

We discussed our treatment options with our doctor - we could simply monitor the tumor with regular MRIs and hope that it is in fact a very slow growing cancer and discuss treatment when the tumor showed change.  It is a strange thought that I may have been carrying this cancer in my brain for a very long time without showing any ill effects.  We will never know this.  The doctor thought this wasn't the best option in our case and this made sense to us given that I had started to show some symptoms.